GymBunny wrote:

Craig wrote:Ye your not doing too bad so far, I mean your crying a lot about it but when I quit cold turkey I was a moany bitch to anyone who would listen.

Yep, except when I quit I was a moany psychotic impatient bitch.

Rab this is tough love. We're helping.

Your right, but i really dont like tough love, Im a very delicate soul.

Craig wrote:Ye your not doing too bad so far, I mean your crying a lot about it but when I quit cold turkey I was a moany bitch to anyone who would listen.

You got me there - have been a bit of a baby about it.

GymBunny wrote:Yep, except when I quit I was a moany psychotic impatient bitch.

Rab this is tough love. We're helping.

Psychotic? Never I think I beat you on that one GB - to be considering just packing up and leaving family over this is pretty mental - I mean yesterday I had to convince myself to stay. I guess smoking pasifies me as such I'll put up with stuff I wouldn't if not smoking. Funny really, as she always compares me to the boy she met 5 years ago. That dude was still high from 6 years of Class A abuse and smoking a bit more than Embassy No.1. And as the screws have tightened and the friends have all but gone and the rut has grown I guess the boy with no crutches is gonna struggle to walk.

Rab wrote:Your right, but i really dont like tough love, Im a very delicate soul.

Rabby, I love your delicate soul. But this morning I slipped. There won't be any other slips. It's like a tension was mounting. When's it gonna happen. Almost like it needed to happen to get it out of my system. I'm making an appointment on Monday for the quack to get some patches on the cheap. I'll be cold turkey until then but I'd like to have them if I can get them. Might seem pointless to some but having them rather than a fag is definately better. And I know I won't want to smoke when I have them and won't.

Tonight is JD and 85% chocolate night. Can't really afford either but what the hey as Monday, I start on reducing cals and eating clean for 2 whole months. Gonna chill out with some big cans on me head playing some beaty ambience from chicane's back catalogue and some Banco De Gaia and maybe even fall asleep peacefully in the chair.

Thus concludes week 1 of my work rota - was shit at best but thanks for your support. Look out for week 2

The important thing is when you do slip up as soon as you come to your senses you flush any fags you have and get back on course............... thats what takes the real strength.

Get this done first before dealing with the relationship stuff, people (especially women ) fall into routines and don't realize how feckin boring this is. But people can change given a chance once they know how important it is. No doubt GB will now say its men that do this

Craig wrote:The important thing is when you do slip up as soon as you come to your senses you flush any fags you have and get back on course............... thats what takes the real strength.

Get this done first before dealing with the relationship stuff, people (especially women ) fall into routines and don't realize how feckin boring this is. But people can change given a chance once they know how important it is. No doubt GB will now say its men that do this

Lolll! Women are guilty of this...in fact most people are and all they want is for things to continue exactly as they are as this means they don't have to leave their comfort zone. As Craig says getting back on course whenever you slip up is what shows real strength.

Only thing I disagree with is the leaving the relationship stuff until later because women put so much importance on it and if you don't address the issues they will build. Men forgive. Women hold grudges. It is entirely logical to a woman to make you sleep on the couch tonight because of something you said about her mother 6months ago. Don't put off dealing with it.

GymBunny wrote:Lolll! Women are guilty of this...in fact most people are and all they want is for things to continue exactly as they are as this means they don't have to leave their comfort zone. As Craig says getting back on course whenever you slip up is what shows real strength.

Only thing I disagree with is the leaving the relationship stuff until later because women put so much importance on it and if you don't address the issues they will build. Men forgive. Women hold grudges. It is entirely logical to a woman to make you sleep on the couch tonight because of something you said about her mother 6months ago. Don't put off dealing with it.

Good points GB.

Have woken up to a note saying she's taken the kids to give me space overnight. WTF. Just because I don't speak to her at the moment and when I do apparently "The nastiness worries me" FFS now I have to do another night overtime to pay for her little hotel experience. If she's trying to teach me a lesson it's not going well. Can't imagine she's got far as she doesn't drive, I don't know of her having any friends - which is probably why I'm not allowed any. And if we ever go out I have to order food, go to the bar so perhaps she sent Lucy to book the room.

Just a note I think this is what Craig was after from the start. I don't know if he's after a jabbing buddy or a fisting buddy but his plan is working...

AAAAAaaaaarrghhhh!!!

Great. Nothing fits cos after bulking and jacking fags I'm a big fat turd! Going up the pub with little sis for some of those good times and a bit of pool and batter the jukebox.

Update on the relationship status - still not working...

upright wrote:AAAAAaaaaarrghhhh!!!

Great. Nothing fits cos after bulking and jacking fags I'm a big fat turd! Going up the pub with little sis for some of those good times and a bit of pool and batter the jukebox.

Update on the relationship status - still not working...

If you smoke in the pub Craig will come down and batter you. Hell I'll come across and do it. You have been warned

upright wrote:AAAAAaaaaarrghhhh!!!

Great. Nothing fits cos after bulking and jacking fags I'm a big fat turd! Going up the pub with little sis for some of those good times and a bit of pool and batter the jukebox.

Update on the relationship status - still not working...

First real test - going to the pub and not smoking, thank god they banned it inside and now make you go out in the cold.

Thought I'd post up Sunday's diet

16:00 1.5 scoop protein + 50g Oats in Whey
18:00 3 * carling, Bag of C+O, Twirl - move to next pub
19:30 1*double navy rum n coke - sister's idea - move to next pub
20:00 2*Jacks Cider, 1* Becks
21:30 phone call from mum - back from Belgium.
22:00 - ???? 75% bottle of something with a worm in the bottom(not tequilla) apparently was 68% proof, few slices pizza and 1 soggy chip.

And a shit load of fags - fecking bagillions.

Fell off the wagon. Not proud of it, but don't feel bad about it either. back on yesterday, haven't bought any fags either so that's good.

upright wrote:Thought I'd post up Sunday's diet

16:00 1.5 scoop protein + 50g Oats in Whey
18:00 3 * carling, Bag of C+O, Twirl - move to next pub
19:30 1*double navy rum n coke - sister's idea - move to next pub
20:00 2*Jacks Cider, 1* Becks
21:30 phone call from mum - back from Belgium.
22:00 - ???? 75% bottle of something with a worm in the bottom(not tequilla) apparently was 68% proof, few slices pizza and 1 soggy chip.

And a shit load of fags - fecking bagillions.

Fell off the wagon. Not proud of it, but don't feel bad about it either. back on yesterday, haven't bought any fags either so that's good.

As long as you get up the next morning a non smoker its all good, give it a couple of weeks and have another go at drinking with out smoking, it takes a while I can do it now but I rarely drink.

wondered where you where

Craig wrote:
As long as you get up the next morning a non smoker its all good, give it a couple of weeks and have another go at drinking with out smoking, it takes a while I can do it now but I rarely drink.

wondered where you where

Did you miss tormenting me? Had some issues to work out. Getting there now. Back on the wagon now. Back to training today. Haven't done legs in a week now and didn't feel like it today. Did my upper B, made some progress on the back of an awful diet last couple days. Funny how it works - mind over matter. Got a twingy shoulder of late and dodgy knees. Pushed through the shoulder today and was very happy.

Was due to start cutting cals back slowly this week, that went quite well yesterday consuming nothing solid for the 6 hours of being awake. But I don't record that as a success and have had a much better start today although some real crappy sleep.

Missing my PWO fag but the forum has provided a good distraction.

Another shite "night" of sleep. no word of a lie, must have woken up exactly every 9 minutes today. Dreams are getting wierder, possibly because I'M NOT ACTUALLY ASLEEP.

Being driven to distraction now. Want fags.

Observations:
ZMA: makes sleep entirely worse.
AAKG: gives you the mild shits - or it coulda been the cottage cheese that was sat in my locker for 6 hours and was a day out anyway.
Fags: make a life worthy

upright wrote:Another shite "night" of sleep. no word of a lie, must have woken up exactly every 9 minutes today. Dreams are getting wierder, possibly because I'M NOT ACTUALLY ASLEEP.

Being driven to distraction now. Want fags.

Observations:
ZMA: makes sleep entirely worse.
AAKG: gives you the mild shits - or it coulda been the cottage cheese that was sat in my locker for 6 hours and was a day out anyway.
Fags: make a life worthy

just the nicotine coming out of the system, kicking and screaming on its way like the bitch it is. Time to decide who's stronger cause it wants to fight

thanks mate - really good stuff. *shove it ya cock*

upright wrote:thanks mate - *can I suck ya cock*

if you think it will help.

Craig wrote:

upright wrote:thanks mate - *can I suck ya cock*

if you think it will help.

Maybe if I light the other end. - this is where you change the word light for bite and go "ooh kinky"

lol

Nice to see you're going through the standard withdrawal symptoms....it gets better.Soon you'll actually be able to taste food properly

GymBunny wrote:Nice to see you're going through the standard withdrawal symptoms....it gets better.Soon you'll actually be able to taste food properly

If I can get a bite without Craig trying to flop his deca-dick in my face....

So how's today looking, come on I need my giggle fix.

GymBunny wrote:So how's today looking, come on I need my giggle fix.

You're a sick lady GB. But for your entertainment:

Tried all last night to cheat. Just feel so crappy all the time. It switches between crappy for me and crappy for anyone else in the way. Generally levelling anybody at work wasn't even enough and at dinner, I looked in my pocket to see if I had my cashcard to take to the garage round the corner. No. Sad.

So then at knocking off, I looked across at the bus shelter, the only people there are the ones I told not o give me any more fags - this lot aren't a likely source as they'd hold out just to wind me up rather than actually do me any favours.

On waking - for 1,000,000th time today, I feel so so crappy. The tensionn mounts. The cravings are at the worst point ever. It's just generallly horrid. I have the night off - last week this meant that she felt she needed to take the kids and flee. I feel 10 times wos than that today.

When do the cravings end? somach in knots - feel like I want to cough up a lung, got funny poos - last one was a hoible colour and shapd like a horseshoe. Don't feel up to training today cos of the sleep issues and want a pizza, kebab and of course

I WANT FAGS!!!

on a good note for the supportive tyoes on here, 3 days since I fell off the wagon and a total of 5 non-smoking days in a week...

If it makes you feel better I am trying to secure funding to ensure I have still got a job in a year's time and if I fail to get it I screw up my career.


Oh and thanks for the giggle, I am as sleep deprived as you at the moment and really needed it.

GymBunny wrote:If it makes you feel better I am trying to secure funding to ensure I have still got a job in a year's time and if I fail to get it I screw up my career.


Oh and thanks for the giggle, I am as sleep deprived as you at the moment and really needed it.

Who could deny you? I'd like to smash those German toss bags with thier own sausage!

upright wrote:

GymBunny wrote:If it makes you feel better I am trying to secure funding to ensure I have still got a job in a year's time and if I fail to get it I screw up my career.


Oh and thanks for the giggle, I am as sleep deprived as you at the moment and really needed it.

Who could deny you? I'd like to smash those German toss bags with thier own sausage!

Lolll! Your aggression levels really are up at the moment aren't they. I have to dazzle them with my scientific knowhow. Unfortunately I am pants at communicating this sort of thing and it was dumped on me at the last moment, so it's a wee bit of a struggle. Still if I don't get it I'll move back to England, sell my soul and go work for an oil company and no longer be a poor student. Silver lining and all.